I'm 23 going 24 this year, and am 20 weeks 5 days pregnant with a boy. Nobody knows about my pregnancy yet, except for the father of this child and an ex-colleague of mine. Oh, I am very much single too; not married.
Well, things are a little bit complicated on the relationship side. As much as we love each other and would like to give this child a complete family, we can't.
I am someone who is determined when I know what I want and have made up my mind. He is not. He is indecisive; wishy-washy. That is also why till now, none of the problems we are facing is solved. He is suppose to get a new job so he could stay here with me and this child, but he didn't really try. He is suppose to settle his problems back at home, but no, the problems are still here.
Honestly I'm starting to doubt if I want this man to be the father of my son.
Yes he is stressed up with the problems, but I am too, and I have to deal with this changing body of mine. Every time when I feel sad or when I cry, I'm so guilty. I shouldn't be feeling so as it will affect my unborn child.
I'm so tired. Only if there is something I can do to solve all the problems, I will definitely do it. But no, there's nothing I can do. I feel like an animal waiting to be slaughtered, waiting for my turn to meet my doom.
But I have to stay strong for my son. I can choose to give everything up or challenge all of them. It is not easy but I just have to try.
